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Quintuple Jeopardy
From Wikitruth
Three strikes and you're out. A second chance. Third time's the charm. Double Jeopardy. Once and for all.
The language brims with the idea of how many tries life gives you to accomplish something. It's not just about doing something, but doing it right, trying again, attempting to get your goals met. If at first you don't succeed, they say, try, try again.
But how many times is too many?
[edit] You can't be too rich, too thin, or too deleted
Wikipedia lets anyone put any article up for what's called a deletion review. Here's how it works:
A random Wikipedian carefully peruses articles and, after careful consideration, realizes an article may need to be deleted. A new section about that item is put in the "deletion review" page. People discuss whether the page merits continued existence, or whether it should be properly disposed of. Users quietly bring their points forth, and after a reasonable time, an administrator comes in, declares the discussion closed, and then the deed (saving, deletion) is done and everyone moves on.
Just kidding.
What actually happens is that everything goes utter batfruit: people randomly demand pages, images, categories, even other user pages should be deleted. They either slap a huge ugly box on the article saying it's up for deletion, or they forget and someone else has to do it. The arguments are conducted by either a random tiny handful of the type of people who browse new deletion discussions, or they're turned into orgasmic free-for-alls of name-calling, sockpuppet accusations, bias rants, or just plain old kook-jammery. There are, of course, ways for administrators to fix the "discussion" in whatever way they choose. The WP:SNOWBALL guideline (things seem to be going a certain way, so we're done) and speedy deletion/keep (no need for a discussion here) are just sitting there, begging to be used. So if the entire discussion is not up to your (internal, random) standards, just end it!
There's a wide range of opinion on how much is "too much" or "too little" on Wikipedia, so nobody really knows how often you should bring up an article for consideration, or at what point an article is considered outside the bounds of debate as to whether it should even exist. As a result, the "right answer" is different every single goddamn day. It really is a quantum encyclopedia!
So, where does it end? Well, to be honest, we're not even sure ourselves. Our crack staff did a lot of digging around in various "deletion reviews" that have gone on, in some cases, for years, yanked in front of Deletion Review over and over again. The current record is the admittedly-provocative "Gay Nigger Association of America" article: After eighteen separate deletion debates it was finally put to rest and deleted off Wikipedia in November of 2006. (It has since undergone the occasional flare-up, but knocked back out of existence without the benefit of further "discussion".)
[edit] The Hall of Fame
Bear in mind, of course, that each time an article is deleted, the history of that article is deleted as well. This means it's impossible for a non-administrator to be aware of any work done on that subject; if you were wondering why it was deleted or in what state the article was in when it was deleted, well, you're out of luck.
No less impressive are the rest of the items on our list; all of them have gone through over five separate trials, five separate attempts to remove them. Some have lived, some have died, and some have been "merged" away into the ass-crack of other articles so that the subject matter isn't as easily found or handled.
| Title | Creation date | Deletion date | # of Noms | # of Edits | Current status |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gay Nigger Association of America | 2004-04-06 | 2006-11-28 | 18 | 2712 | deleted |
| Daniel Brandt | 2005-09-28 | 2007-06-14 | 14 | 2674 | molested |
| Cleveland steamer | 2004-07-21 | 2008-07-02 | 9 | 1238 | molested |
| Al Gore III | 2003-12-21 | 2008-02-25 | 8 | 393 | deleted |
| Allegations of state terrorism by the United States | 2006-08-01 | 8 | alive | ||
| Israel and the apartheid analogy | 2006-05-29 | 8 | alive | ||
| Uncyclopedia | 2006-06-12 | 8 | alive | ||
| Angela Beesley | 2005-04-01 | 7 | alive | ||
| Eep | 2004-06-23 | 2006-03-05 | 7 | 41 | molested |
| Girlfriend | 2004-02-23 | 7 | alive | ||
| List of films considered the worst | 2003-08-23 | 7 | alive | ||
| List of films that most frequently use the word "fuck" | 2004-12-24 | 8 | alive | ||
| LUEshi | 2004-05-02 | 2006-12-13 | 7 | 280 | deleted |
| Brian Peppers | 2005-05-23 | 2006-02-22 | 6 | 692 | deleted |
| Jocelyne Couture-Nowak | 2007-04-17 | 6 | alive | ||
| Kristi Yamaoka | 2006-03-07 | 2008-09-10 | 6 | 126 | molested |
| List of groups referred to as cults | 2002-01-11 | 2008-06-23 | 6 | 2888 | deleted |
| List of big-bust models and performers | 2004-11-22 | 2008-09-29 | 6 | 2670 | deleted |
| The Game (mind game) | 2004-08-19 | 6 | alive | ||
| Wikinfo | 2003-03-26 | 2008-05-22 | 6 | 309 | deleted |
| Able and Baker | 2004-10-06 | 2007-01-16 | 5 | 65 | deleted |
| List of songs about masturbation | 2005-03-31 | 2007-07-25 | 5 | 1460 | deleted |
| Terminator 4 | 2004-11-20 | 2006-07-19 | 5 | 229 | deleted |
| Universism | 2003-08-24 | 2006-05-08 | 5 | 226 | deleted |
| American Nihilist Underground Society | 2005-01-16 | 5 | alive | ||
| Ashida Kim | 5 | ??? | |||
| Donkey punch | 2004-07-05 | 5 | alive | ||
| Empire of Atlantium | 2002-12-28 | 5 | alive | ||
| Encyclopedia Dramatica | 2008-05-14 | 5 | alive | ||
| Essjay controversy | 2007-03-02 | 5 | alive | ||
| GameTZ.com | 2005-09-23 | 5 | alive | ||
| Lauren Conrad | 2005-09-08 | 5 | alive | ||
| List of Battlefield 1942 mods | 2004-02-16 | 5 | alive | ||
| List of ethnic slurs | 2003-06-08 | 5 | alive | ||
| List of shopping malls in the United States | 2005-12-04 | 5 | alive | ||
| List of video game collector and limited editions | 2006-05-12 | 5 | alive | ||
| Nintendocore | 2005-11-25 | 5 | alive | ||
| Serbophobia | 2005-12-03 | 5 | alive | ||
| RuneScape gods | 2005-05-14 | 5 | alive | ||
| Scholars for 9/11 Truth | 2006-02-07 | 2007-06-13 | 5 | 705 | molested |
| Tim Bowles | 2006-04-06 | 5 | alive | ||
| Wikitruth | 2006-04-17 | 5 | alive | ||
| Yellowikis | 2005-01-25 | 5 | alive |
Naturally, Wikitruth would never want to suggest that completely deleted articles ever appear again on Wikipedia; they're deleted for a reason! Of course, that reason escapes us at the moment...
The question, of course, is this: should a site that pretends to be a compilation of the sum of human knowledge delete or keep articles based on it being a good day, or a bad one? How can any parties pretend that in the fifth, seventh, or eighteenth go-around of a discussion, things have spontaneously changed in the world and will force a different outcome? How can anyone claim that what's going on here isn't just a case of rallying the right troops at the right time to ram through your given agenda?
It just doesn't add up.
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